did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
