Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It was confusing and full of hummus
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
