would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
