my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
