So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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