I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
