that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm experimenting with sincerity
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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