is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
