My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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