You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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