Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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