when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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