Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
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