Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
