so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
