Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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