dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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