he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
