White coat. Heels.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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