Dual....:-)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
