I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
