ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
