I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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