Where is the hickey?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
