my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
