my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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