Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
