You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
