What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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