It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
my shit smells like andre
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
