You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
