Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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