I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
