after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
