I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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