Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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