im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
