It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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