none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
