That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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