What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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