how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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