ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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