There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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