so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
