its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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