i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
