I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
