is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The ass gains better be worth it
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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