is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What happened to fro yo and sex?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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