I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
