if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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